


(don't) run away

by Mishaspanties



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto) Feels, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, SNS endgame, Uchiha Sasuke-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-05-13 13:46:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14750006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mishaspanties/pseuds/Mishaspanties
Summary: "I'm in love with you." Now, isn't that a heavy phrase?→ In which Sasuke confesses his love to Naruto.





	1. I - risk

"I'm in love with you." Now, isn't that a heavy phrase? Naruto has heard it before, from the battle against Pein, when Hinata had confessed her love to him. But he had expected it: everyone was rooting for them because this was the status quo. Her love was pure and open and most of all, familiar.

But now, standing in front of his best friend, those words feel so different. They're uncomfortable and  _unfamiliar_  and looking into Sasuke's eyes, hoping its a joke is futile because he has carefully hidden away all emotion.

He hopes its a dream, but a quick check of his chakra informs him that he is indeed awake and most certainly not stuck in a genjutsu where his best friend has just confessed his love. He pinches himself to double check.

This isn't in his realm, his kingdom of imagination, and it is most certainly not the Status Quo. So, he says nothing.

There's a sharp rap on the door, and Naruto feels queasy with nerves, but this conversation is swept under the rug when Sakura comes in for their weekly brunch.

-

Sasuke feels numb. Its a familiar feeling much like an old friend, but he didn't think he'd ever feel this way again, not since the twice-death of Itachi. Now, sitting in the light of the moon, He faintly realizes that the pain in his chest is heartbreak.

The moon is waning. He shuts the curtains.

He should have expected this. Anyone he ever loved has left him.

-

Something's wrong with her boys. Sakura knows it has nothing to do with her because if it did have something to do with her, Sasuke would be straight with her. And anyways, she's sure that Naruto has gotten over her, and she doesn't have that childhood crush from before (though you can't blame her for liking to look, right?).

So the only thing that could be bothering them.... Is each other. She doesn't know what happened between them and no amount of gentle coaxing will pull it out of them. But she's determined to fix it because she'll be damned if she lets Team 7 break in such a way.

She knocks on the door.

When Sasuke opens it, he sees the hand on her hip, the scary fierceness in her eyes and contemplates for a moment to close the door on her face and running. Self preservation wins out and he lets her come in.

"We need to talk." There it is. The most dreaded sentence of all time. Might as well rip off the band-aid. Sakura pushes her way into his living room, flopping down on the coach tiredly. "Sit down." From the way Sasuke ticks his jaw, she knows he's a little annoyed but frankly, she couldn't care less. "What happened between you and Naruto?" she asks when Sasuke finally sits down beside her.

"I told him I love him." Sakura couldn't say she was surprised but - yeah, she was surprised. Wow. Sasuke apparently sees it in her eyes because he snorts in disgust and turns away.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. How did he answer? What did he say?" Sasuke looks out the window without saying anything. Maybe he isn't paying attention. It's more likely that he's deliberately ignoring her, the bastard. She decides to push further. "Sasuke?"

"Nothing."

"What?"

"He said nothing." Ah. Now that would explain things - the awkward silences during training where Naruto had stopped his carefree touches and Sasuke had stopped looking him in the eye. She looks at the profile of his face closely and sighs.

"C'mere," she says and scoots over to wrap him in a hug. He tries to pull away, but she stubbornly clings onto him and presses his face into her shoulder. She holds him like this for hours.

-

Naruto supposes that maybe Sasuke is trying to forget the confession, too. He is going along with the steadfastly-ignore-that-day-one-month-ago plan. He doesn't want to lose Sasuke, the first person to acknowledge him and his very best friend.

So, he keeps the facade.

Because if they ignored it, in time it would fade - because Naruto has spent years trying to catch Sasuke and he will never let him go. Sasuke is too precious to him.

This would all be the best, he knows.

So he walks to the doorstep of Hinata Hyuuga's home with a proposal in mind.

-

The first time he hears it, it is an ice cold shock that washes over him. Naruto - the one he loves, loved?, will love - is courting Hinata Hyuuga. A married Hokage would be more acceptable than a bachelor, the gossips in the market say.

Sasuke puts down the vegetable he was looking at and scurries away toward Sakura's house and pretends that the pain in his heart is only because Naruto didn't tell his best friend first.

She opens the door and when she sees the look on his face, she pulls him in without a word. He is grateful for her.

-

Hinata joins them in their next brunch. Sasuke feels invaded.

But Hinata seems to have grown more confident since her genin days because of Naruto, and he has to admire that. Even if he feels a bit bitter.

He picks at his food but tries to hide his displeasure with his usual monosyllabic replies and snark. He tries to pretend that his other hand is not clenched in a tight fist under the table.

-

"Do you know what you're going to do?" Sakura asks when they're lazying about in his apartment. They ate a bit too much during their brunch, and their only choice to recover afterward was to lay down on the floor. Naruto is in another country, tagging along with Kakashi in his Hokage duties. It is inevitable that Naruto will become the seventh Hokage. 

"What do you mean?"

She turns over on her side so she's facing him. "Oh, you know. Your broken heart? How your love of your life is moving on without a single answer to your confession?" Sakura pokes gently at the frown marring Sasuke's face to make it disappear. He swats her offending hand away. "It hurts. I know from experience." She raises her eyebrows meaningfully at him in accusation. Sasuke can only wince in response.

"I don't know. It's already too much - I don't think I can handle a certain no. I'm fine with things like this. Its easier."

"Easier doesn't mean better." Sasuke turns to look at her; he regrets it when he sees the look in her eyes. "This is hurting you. I can tell. Kakashi can tell." Now, this surprised him - he had rarely gotten to see the new hokage since he was so busy. "We're worried about you."

Sasuke turns his head again to look at the ceiling. He traces the cracks with his eyes.

"In all my time away from Konoha, I never truly traveled. At least... for myself. I want to go. Do things for my own instead of for someone else."

"Naruto will be-"

"It's not about him!" He's sitting up now, a wild, desperate look in his eyes. "I've been controlled and manipulated since I was young and for once I just want to make my own decisions. Think for myself. If this hurts me later on, then... At least I can say that I did it all on my own."

Sakura is wide eyed. Sasuke slowly drops back down so he is laying next to her again.

"I just want..."

"...To be free?" Sakura finishes for him. The look in his eyes in grateful at her understanding. "So you're running away, then. It doesn't have to be that way, you know." Their eyes meet again, and Sasuke knows she is talking about her love for him. Even when she still loved him, she was able to look him in the eye. He can't manage even that. 

"You're stronger than I am, Sakura." A pause, and then grudgingly - "Always have been. Literally and when it comes to..." he gestures around them. "... _this._ " 

 

Sakura knows what she has to do now.

-

Sasuke looks up at the gates of Konoha with both trepidation and excitement. Sunset spills over the horizon in dark orange, reds, and purples. He doesn't know quite what he wants to do, yet, but... For the first time in forever, he actually feels free. Less caged. Sakura steps beside him, pulling his attention toward her.

"Thank you for everything, Sakura." A lifetime ago he said those words, and he meant it. He still does.

"Are you sure about this?" She asks. She is right to worry. He hasn't been allowed to leave Konoha since he came back. This night - this mission - would be the first time he is allowed out of Konoha without an escort. He still cannot leave without permission, and he knew that if he left abruptly, Naruto would be right there behind him. He needs this. Even if it's in the form of an undercover mission. He presses his hand to the faceplate on his forehead, now unmarked.

"Yes," he murmurs. 

 


	2. II - perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me agessss to write. I also added some tags. Please take note of those. :)
> 
> Unbeta'd. Please let me know if there are any typos! I really appreciate it :)

As a seasoned fighter, it’s no surprise that Ino is a light sleeper. It still catches her by surprise, though, when her lover slips into bed late at night and tucks a freezing foot between her calves. Ino, who had been happily in dreamland, curses and nudges her bed partner in the ribs roughly.

“Geez, how are you so cold? I was at a good part in my dream, too!” She hisses at her lover. 

Sakura, undeterred, only slips in closer and wraps an arm around Ino’s waist, kissing the nape of her neck as she goes. 

“No ‘welcome home’ for me? I’m feeling hurt…” She whines jokingly and slips a wandering hand down Ino’s hip and thigh. The hand is immediately grabbed and moved away to cuddle in front of Ino’s chest. Sakura smiles and snuggles closer to properly spoon her girlfriend. Ino presses a kiss to Sakura’s palm before interlacing their fingers.

“Welcome Home,” she murmurs. “I love you…” and drifts off to sleep again.

 -

When Ino gets up in the morning, she’s pleased to see Sakura still in bed; no hospital-related emergencies to take her away, then. She’s gotten up a little bit earlier than usual, so she has some time to spare. Humming, she decides that she might as well make breakfast for the both of them. Traditional, like her mother. She glances at the clock again: just enough time before she has to open the flower shop.

As she’s plating up the food, Sakura walks out of the bedroom, face freshly washed but still undressed.

“Good Morning, sleepy. Nice hair.” Sakura shoots a glare at Ino, but her bed head makes her seem less intimidating and more endearing. Ino grins and greets her with a kiss before pushing her down into a chair. “How was your night shift?”

“Only two emergencies last night, so quiet. An unfortunately adventurous person with unmentionables up their ass, and a case of appendicitis.” They drift into comfortable silence after that, as they eat. Sakura, Ino knows, has been hard at work at the hospital. Even as a war hero, she still works hard to earn her place and someday soon become the Hospital Director. 

Something has been bothering her, though.

“Sakura.”

“Hmm?”

“You’ve been a little distracted, lately.” And it’s true. The other day at the market, Ino found her staring at an apple with a fierce look of concentration on her face. If Ino hadn’t caught her attention, it might have burst under the strength of her hand. “... Do you want to talk about it?”

And Sakura, she looks - she looks torn, not quite anguished, but upset and all Ino can do is place her hand on Sakura’s.

“I’m keeping a secret from Naruto. And… it makes me feel so guilty because it’s like I’m taking sides. But… I love them both, and I want them to be happy. I can’t make one feel something they don’t - or stop them from feeling the things they do.” It’s not hard to guess who she was talking about. Even before they were genin, Sasuke and Naruto were always contentious, and it sometimes seemed as though their lives revolved around each other. Sakura gets up abruptly from the table, slipping her hand out from under Ino’s. “I’m sorry, Ino. I can’t talk about this anymore. I’m uncomfortable.”

“Of course,” says Ino, reassuringly. She gets up to start putting away the dishes, but Sakura’s hand on her waist stops her. 

“I’ll finish this, okay? You get ready for work. I don’t have the late shift tonight, so… maybe we can spend some time together?” Sakura asks with a meaningful glance. Ino leans in for a long, lingering kiss.

“Always,” she murmurs, and they share a one last kiss before Ino hurries off to work.

-

Sasuke doesn’t show up to their next brunch. Certainly an unusual occurrence; it has been an unspoken rule that they must attend the weekly brunch or suffer the wrath of Sakura. But now, Sakura seems unbothered as she sets the table for two.

“Where’s Sasuke?” He asks. Sakura only quirks an eyebrow at him, as if to say,  _ shouldn’t you know that, being the hokage’s heir?  _ Or he might be projecting.

“He can have a life outside of us, you know.” Which… yes. He can. And he probably does, but -

“But it’s… y’know…”  _ Us. _ The original team 7. This was their Thing. Sakura pauses in the middle of her serving the food. 

“Maybe Sasuke needs some time to himself,” she replies cryptically. Naruto has a suspicion that she knows more than she’s letting on, but her poker face seems to have evolved in the decade since he’s known her; he can’t get a read off her. His mind betrays him by drifting to that moment months ago, but - no. He can’t think of that now, not when things are going so well. So, Naruto decides then that he will visit Kakashi, and he’ll get some answers, confidentiality be damned.

-

When he lands at the windowsill of Kakashi’s office, the first thing he notices is the unfinished paperwork gracing every single available service. Over the stacks of paperwork, he can just barely see the top of Kakashi’s head as he lounges on the couch with a book draped over his face. Typical.

“Kakashi-sensei!” Naruto calls.

“I’m not here,” Kakashi replies, voice muffled by the book. Naruto, used to his antics, ignores him and climbs through the window. “Kids. Always ruining my beauty sleep.” He pulls the book from his face and quirks an eyebrow at Naruto. “Is it important?”

“Of course it is!” Naruto says. “It’s about Sasuke.”

“Ah...” Something in Kakashi’s expression tells him that he’s amused about - something. “So it is.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” asks Naruto, annoyed. “He missed brunch today. Sakura-chan knows something but she won’t tell me.”

“Is that so? Sounds like that might be problematic. I didn’t know all of you had brunch together. I was under the assumption that Sai and Sasuke hated each other.”

“Oh, they do. Sakura-chan and I have lunch with him every once in awhile. He can be such a pervert, though. I would probably avoid him, if not for the fact that Sakura wants us to build teamwork, or whate -- ” Naruto stops suddenly, peering at Kakashi in consternation. “Wait a minute. You were trying to distract me!” Kakashi sighs in response.

“That would have worked when you were twelve. You really _are_ growing up.” Kakashi heaves himself off the couch and lumbers over to the desk, ruffling Naruto’s hair as he passes. “What was your question again?”

“Sasuke. Do you know anything?”

“Ah, well, his birthday is - sometime, and his favorite food is something he eats often -”

“Not that!” Naruto was nearly vibrating with irritation. “I meant - where is he?”

Kakashi sits down then, leaning back in the seat and propping his feet up on the desk. He takes his time riling up Naruto and laces his fingers in front of his face in thought. When he finally speaks, it's short and to the point.

“I can’t tell you where he is, but I can tell you he’s not in the village right now. A solo mission.” He says simply.

“A mission?! By himself? Without --”  _ Without me _ , he wants to say, but can’t bring himself to. “I thought he was still forbidden to leave.”

“His probation is over,” Kakashi says. “It’s been over five years, and he more than proved his loyalty in the Third Shinobi War. Eventually we have to move on from the past.”

“I see...” Naruto bites his lip and turns away from him, facing the window. It was odd, not knowing everything about Sasuke. He didn’t even know Sasuke was fully reinstated.

“Don’t worry. He’ll be back in a couple months. You of all people should know that he can take care of himself.” Kakashi says pointedly.

“Right.” Naruto says a bit faintly. “... Right.” Since when had they grown so far apart?

 -

The Uchiha coloring is unmistakable, and there likely isn’t a place in the world now that won’t recognize it, if not outright revile it. Seeing as his current mission is supposed to be undercover, Sasuke bleaches his hair to a mousy brown and ties it back. His hair is long enough now that it’s easy. He puts in dull blue contacts, and when he finally looks himself in the mirror, it’s hard to connect his true self to his current self.

Good.

He brushes away the remaining clips of hair and prepares to bleach his eyebrows; his disguise must be perfect, after all.

The mission is straightforward enough: Young girls from several villages near the border of the Land of Rivers are disappearing, and the bath house at the epicenter may be related. All he had to do was infiltrate the bath house and get close to someone to get answers.

Asahi is one of the masseuses. He has a dimple, just one, that appears when he smiles. He’s optimistic, in a quiet way, but there are also moments of quiet solemnity where he moves as though he’s being tugged by puppet strings. Dull. Mechanical.

Sasuke wonders what he’s lost. Or who.

He’s nothing like Naruto, but he finds himself comparing the two, anyways. Maybe Asahi can sense the same  _ loss  _ inside him as he has because he approaches Sasuke nearly a month after he started working there. He touches the inside of his elbow fleetingly, but it’s enough to break down the barriers that Sasuke has been holding up since he had discovered his feelings for - him. 

So they fall into bed together.

He doesn’t delude himself into believing that they feel anything for each other than sexual attraction; he says as much to Asahi who, to his relief, readily agrees. 

-

From then on, it’s easy to coax each other into bed.

In the afterglow, Sasuke tells him (false) stories of his past. Asahi admits that his younger sister died in the Third Shinobi war. She was one herself, and he can’t help but feel resentment that he was born without the ability to protect her.

Sasuke weaves tales of a childhood as a civilian, and he tells Asahi that he didn’t lose any family in the war. (The one he lost was already lost.)

Asahi unwittingly spills the secrets of the bath house and Sasuke reveals that he loved (loves?) someone who doesn’t love him back. (The truth.) Admitting this to someone who doesn't know every intimate detail of his past releases a weight off his chest that he never knew he had. For once, he feels as though his feelings aren't clogging his throat, threatening to crawl out.

It’s easy, then, to bury himself in the mission. He collects intel and, in between shifts at the bath house, sleeps in Asahi’s bed.

Two months into his mission, and he knows he has enough information to discover the head of the human trafficking ring currently kidnapping young girls. He takes his time, pretends he’s just received a letter from his family, and says goodbye to Asahi. 

“My cousin is getting married,” Sasuke lies. “I have to go home and take care of my grandparents.”

His coworkers throw a going-away party, and his boss hardly spares him a glance when he leaves his notice. To make doubly sure his tracks are covered, he makes a show of traveling - the civilian way - toward the Land of Rain. After taking off his disguise, he waits a week, then quietly sneaks his way back to the bath house. It’s merely a matter of a few well-aimed kunai, and the leader and his minions are dead. Easy.

He knows he’s eliminated only a branch of the ring, but somehow, he still feels satisfied as he breaks open the locks holding the young girls in cages. It’s odd. He feels...  _ purpose _ . Fufilled.

Mission completed, he heads home. 

(It’s also odd to think of Konoha as  _ home. _ There was once a time when he couldn’t wait to leave; now he itches to be within its walls again.)

-

It’s not unusual for Hinata to ask him to attend dinner with her. What was unusual, however, was the solemn look on her face. 

“Hinata? Is there… something wrong?” He, despite his usual obliviousness, could tell that there was something bothering her. She delicately takes another bite and sets her chopsticks down. Naruto could tell that whatever it was, she had been thinking about it for quite some time.

“I don’t know how to tell you this, but...” she clears her throat and looks him directly in the eyes. “I want to break off the engagement.”

At that statement, Naruto nearly chokes on his food. “ _ W-what? _ Why? I thought we were doing well!”

“We are. We were. That is to say...” Hinata’s cheeks turn a mottled red as she tries to find a way to grasp how she felt. She abruptly changes the subject. “Do you think you’re ready? For… this?” She asks. She gestures between them to elaborate.

“I… yeah.” He can’t think of anything eloquent to say, especially not when his (former?) fiance throws such a bombshell at him. “I’ve thought about this a lot, and.. It’s something that I’m ready for. That I want. It would be good for... Both of us.”

Hinata looks away, pondering this for a moment, before looking him again in the eyes. “I don’t think I’m ready.” When he opens his mouth to speak, she raises a hand to stop him. “You’re not the person who I thought you were. I’m not saying that you’re a bad person at all! You’re one of the greatest people I know, but… we’re still  _ so young. _ And I know what position you’ll be in soon.  _ I don’t want to be known as the Hokage’s wife. _

“I want to be known as me for me. On my own merits. Hanabi is readying to become the next leader of my clan, and I’m still not sure who I want to be. On my own. You’re a great man, Naruto, but the boy I had a crush on when I was 12 is much different from the reality. I idolized you. Even now… There’s still a part of me that does. And I don’t think that’s healthy at all. 

“If we’re together, I want to love you for you, the good and the bad. And I want you to love me for me, not just to please the village elders. Especially when...” She bites her lip and turns away. “Especially when it seems as though there is something - ”  _ someone “ - _ on your mind more often than not.”

She looks down at her hand and pulls off the engagement ring, setting it down between them. When she opens her mouth, presumably to apologize again, Naruto speaks before she can.

“I understand. Thank you for being honest. You shouldn’t apologize. All this time I had… I had been thinking of myself, how I would benefit. I didn’t stop to think if it’s what you wanted.” She smiles sadly at him and gestures for the waiter to bring the check.

“Please, enjoy the food on my tab. It’s the least I can do,” she says and gets up to leave. A hand on her arm stops her, though.

“We’ll still be friends, right?” Naruto asks. Hinata’s smile this time is more genuine.

“Of course. Always. We’ve been through an entire war; something like this won’t break the friendship between us.” She squeezes his hand and leaves him - them - behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said it would be 2 parts... But I had a lot more ideas to add. It just didn't seem right to rush it. So there will be a third part! Maybe a fourth if the third part gets too long, but no promises.  
> Comments feed my muse ;)

**Author's Note:**

> I found this buried in my computer. I apparently wrote it about 3 years ago - or at least that was the last time I touched it. I tweaked it a little bit, but please let me know if there are any typos I missed. I don't remember where I wanted this to go, but I really like this. I might return and write the second chapter.


End file.
